Summer 2009 Movie Preview

Can you believe its almost been three years since the Mother Of All
Shows. If you don’t know what I am talking about don’t worry about
it. It has been three years since I had a soapbox to stand upon to
spout forth the gospel of movies according to MAC D (as I am known
now). One thing I always enjoyed doing was previews for the seasons.
The last thing I did on the show was a 2006 summer movie preview. So
I think its appropriate to do one now. I am gonna try to make this as
short as possible.

All movie release dates were found on IMDB.com. they could change but
probably wont. I will still try to cover my ass. I am also only
doing movies with wide distribution so I might miss a indy film or two
along the road.

May [the month of May is were the studios come out swinging for your
movie going dollar. March and April have been leading up to this
month. Interms of qualitiy]

Movies Opening May 1st

Battle For Terra
This is an animated sci fi movie with the voice talents of Luke
Wilson, Justin Long, and Evan Rachel Wood. The lack of buzz for this
one has me worried. I think I would of heard about this one before.
Festival awards mean nothing when it comes to box office draw.

Ghost Of Girlfriends Past
Mathew McCOnaughey in a chick flick. Sounds not horrible. If I had a
girlfriend I might think about going to see this.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine
On the last Mother Of All Shows I spent THRITY MINUTES reviewing X-men
the last stand. I AM A HUGE X-MEN FAN. The inclusion of Gambit and
Blob withstanding I already think this is going to be my favorite film
of the year.

Movies Opening May 8th

Star Trek
I am not a trekkie. I like Star Trek especially stories from the
Dominon War and the movie First Contact. Early buzz says this is one
that every one will like. I cant wait

Next Day Air
I would pass this off as another stupid comedy that I don’t want to
see. That is until I realize that Donald Faison is staring. THIS IS
DR. TURKS FIRST STARING ROLE (that I can think of) I will check it out
just to support my fav Scrubs doc.

Movies Opening May 15th

Angles & Demons
Tom Hanks is back as that Da Vinci Code guy in a prequel to the Da
Vinci Code. And he brought Ewan McGregor along for some fun. Seems
like something I might end up taking the parents to.

Management
I know nothing about this film. Which is bad. Its got Jennifer
Aniston and Steve Zahn in it which is good. Its “off Beat” which
means that it might get some buzz when released.

Movies Opening May 21st

Terminator Salvation
I am interested to see what kind of story we can tell when John Conner
is grown up. I am already looking forward to see what kind of script
attracted Christian Bale to this movie.

Movies Opening May 22nd

Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian
Didn’t see the first one. Heard it was good. This sequel should be
like the first one on steroids.

Dance Flick
Take the guys behind scarry movie and do a dance movie spoof. The
Wayans know how to spoof stuff (WATCH SCARY MOVIE SERIOUSLY) so I am
thinking this is gonna be a good spoof. I saw the trailer today and
it made me interested.

Movies Opening May 29th

Up
Pixars next movie. DO I HAVE TO SAY ANYTHING ELSE

Drag Me To Hell
Sam Raimi (Evil Dead Trilogy) returns to the genre that made him
famous. Who cares about the cast. I just want to see what sams got
left in the tank

June [ Summer is in full swing but these films usually are not huge blockbusters.]

Movies Opening June 5th

Land Of The Lost

I remember seeing the ninties revival of this tv series (at lest I
think it was a revival) so I don’t know if it is Will Ferrells kind of
thing. But I don’t care it looks almost good


The Hangover
Tood Phillips (Old School, Road Trip) is returning to the directors
chair. And be brought Zach Galifianakis with him. SCORE. That alone
has my ticket money.

My Life In Ruins.
Nia Vardalos (My Big Fat Greek Wedding) returns. Its gonna be one of those non offensive but probably not hugely sugcessfull romatic comedies. But its hard to gage these things until you see the returns on the box office.

Movies Opening June 12th

The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3
Tony Scott and Denzel Washington reunite (they did Déjà vu which I
liked). Add a bad John Travolta and it all adds up to a good action
film.

Imagine That
Imagine That, Another crappy Eddie Murphy movie. NEXT

Movies Opening June 19th

Year One
Jack Black and Michael Cera are cave men. Harold Ramis is directing.
Judd Apatow is producint. Sounds good to me. The fight between Ramis
and Apatow over ratings have me worried that it will end up being too
watered down. But I have faith in Ramis delivering a funny film.

Whatever Works
The new WoodyAllen movie with Larry David Allen’s carreer is shooting
up and I think Larry David has the chance to show he can act instead
of acting what he has written.

The Proposal
So Sandra Bullock has to marry Ryan Reynolds or she gets deported back
to Canada . . . .ok This is being distributed by Disney and that’s
the only hesitant point I could find. I would watch Reynolds read the
phone book.

Movies Opening June 24th

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Michael Bay seems to know how to do Transformers. This will convince
every one he does actually know what he is doing. This movie will
have more huge robots. I see Revenge of the Fallen to take the box office crown this season.

Movies Opening June 26th

My Sisters Keeper
Abigail Breslin apparently has cancer in this one and wants to be
emancipated from her parents. Bring tissues.

Cheri
Michelle Pfeiffer is teaching us to love. I would be more excited if
this were 1993.

July [This is the big guns. If a huge movie isnt released in May its released in the beginning of July. The end of July is saved for those movies that are good but might not have the hype machine or the names to make them huge blockbusters]

Movies Opening July 1st

Public Enemies
Christian Bale and Johnny Depp in a gangster movie. DIRECTED BY
MICHAEL MANN (Heat, Collateral). SCORE. This is gonna be the huge
movie of the summer that not every one knows about. YET. Trailer looks amazing.

Ice Age: Dawn Of Dinosarus
Yawn another Ice Age movie. The other ones are actually good but I
will catch this on F/X in a year.

Movies Opening July 10th

Bruno
This is Scha Baron Cohen’s follow up to Borat. It looks to be just as
outrageous as Borat. But this time you will know its coming out. I
probably wont take my mom to this one a lesson I learned when we went
to Borat.

I Love You, Beth Cooper
Hayden Panettiere (Claire from Heroes) in a Chris Columbus (look him
up he delivers the goods) movie. Here finally we have our stupid high
school teen dramedy. . . .hurray . . . I guess

Movies Opening July 15th

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
New Harry Potter. No hype needed. I still need to see Order of the
Phoenix though.

Movies Opening July 17th

All The Boys Love Mandy Lane
Teens die. People scream. Life goes on. Might be a sleeper because
teen horror movies don’t always suck.

Movies Opening July 24th

G-Force
Guine Pigs are secret agents saving the world all in a live action
setting. Did I just type that. Who green lights this crap. IT’S A
JERRY BRUCKHEIMER FILM!?!?!. Is this Bizaaro world? Might not suck
but I sure as hell wont watch it.

Orphan
This is a remake of a Spanish language horror film of the same name.
That statement should tell you how good it will be. Well we can hope
its another Ring cant we?

The Ugly Truth
Katherine Heigl romantic comedy. I would write it off until I see
that she is playing opposite Geard Butler (300). Yet another movie I
would consider seeing if I had a girlfriend (I am typing that too
much)

Movies Opening July 31st

Funny People

This is the comedy I have been waiting for. Judd Apatows directorial
follow up to Knocked Up. This is more of a serious movie and it stars
Adam Sandler whom I think is a great dramatic actor given the right
role. This will also show Seth Rogens range. I am very interested.

They Came From Upstairs
Aliens are attacking Ashley Tisdale. My sold opinion will have to
wait for the trailer because it actually doesn’t sound that bad.

The Cove
A Green movie about animal abuse. NEXT

August [August is my favorite movie month behind May. This is were you will see movies that have a built in audience but studios are not sure of. The studios knows these movies will make money but know they dont stand a chance against the big blockbsuters. This is the month for the indy film, the great horror films, and the kind of action films that are really fun to watch but not every one will like]

Movies Opening August 7th

When In Rome
A dramaedy from the guy who directed Ghost Rider. Even with Kristen
Bell this has disaster written all over it.

G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra
I was a G.I. Joe guy growing up. I AM VERY EXCITED FOR THIS. The
treatment of Cobra Commander has me worried but I am still very
excited for this.

Julie & Julia
Amy Adams is trying to cook all 524 recipes in Julia Childs Mastering
the Art of French Cooking. Nora Ephron (Sleepless In Seattle) is
directing this weird but intriguing movie.

Shorts
Robert Rodriquez (Spy Kidz movie and oh yeah SIN CITY) goes back doing
childrens movies with this one about a wish granting stone. I don’t
care what he does as long as he gets the money to make Sin City 2

Movies Opeing August 14th

A Perfect Getaway
Milla Jovoich is in Hawaii and then some dude starts killing people.
I like that Jovovich is not doing some action film and is going back
to some form of acting. If just for one movie

Final Destination: Death Trip 3D
I think this is Final Destination 4 if you are keeping track. People
are trying to cash in on My Bloody Valentine and August is the perfect
place for some bloody fun in 3d.

District 9
Aliens are refuges in South Africa. Could be good if I recognized any
body doing this film. I will wait for a trailer.

Bandslam
Teen drama about band. No not a rock band but marching band NEXT

The Time Traveler’s Wife
Eric Bana in his non Star Trek Movie. It’s a romantic drama with an
all star cast including Rachel McAdams and Ron Livingston. Might be
worth a looky loo.

The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard
Jeremy Piven is apparently doing his Ari Gold character in this movie.
With all the emmys he has won for Entourage this might be good.

August 21st

Inglourious Basterds
The new Quentin Tarantino movie with Brad Pitt. SCORE. See this
trailer and you will know why its gonna be good. “Every man under my command owes me 100 Nazi scalps” said by Brad Pitts character. THIS MOVIE WILL KICK ASS

The Post Grad Survival Guide
Alexis Bledel (Gilmore Girls) has graduated from college. The job
climate sucks (Sounds familiar to me) so she has to move back home
with the rents. Could go over great with all of the twenty something
girls who see too much of themselves in the main character.

Movies Opening August 28th

H2: Halloween 2
Rob Zombie returns to Haddonfield and he brings back most of the cast
from his remake of Halloween. This movie Zombie doesn’t have to
follow a set store because he is not remaking Halloween 2. I am
optimistic about anything Michael Myers. Could make or break Rob
Zombie the Film Maker in my eyes. He has to put forth a good horror
movie or I am gonna stop putting faith in him.

The Boat That Rocked
A COMEDY ABOUT RADIO WITH PHILP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN AND NICK FROST (Ed
from Shaun of the Dead) SCORE! You actually had me at illegal rouge
radio station.

I like grouping September in with the summer movies but I will spare you to try not to make this post too long (it probably already is). September keeps up with the themese of august but seem to have more films that might not be mainstream enough for the summer. September is fun but its a place where you will be dissapointed.

X-Men Origins: Woverine, Transformers 2, Funny People, Public Enimies, and Inglorious Bastards are going to be the best movies out of the bunch in a summer where I dont think anything will surprise you unless your not paying close enough attention.

What the Hell is Dave Mustaine talking about?

“ Today is the 9th of April and I have Agreed to doing something last night that I m sure a lot of people are going to be very excited about, and something that I had hoped would one day lead to another one of the potential feuds going away for good, if not for a long while.” – Dave Mustaine of Megadeth


What in the hell is he talking about?

One thing to know about Mr. Mustaine is that he pisses a lot of people off. So much that there is an ENTIRE WIKIPEDIA ENTRY in to the feuds of Dave Mustaine. For our purposes he is pissed at Metallica, Slayer, and Pantera. Most people including my self think this means a tour with one of those bands. But lets try to figure out if this is possible.


PANTERA

Now Pantera is dead. Deal with it. To this day it is still kind of hard for me to deal with the death of Dimebag but it is something that we will have to accept. The only person for Mustaine to make peace with his Phil Anselmo which he did in 2007 when he toured with Down. After Dimes death Mustaine and the rest of Pantera kind of barried the hatchet. And I doubt since he has already toured with Down he would make this kind of statement. Even if Megadeth were to tour with Hellyeah, Vinnie Pauls band, I doubt we would get this cryptic message.

SLAYER

Kerry King and Dave Mustaine hate each other. They have sorta buried the hatchet but its to the point where both sides say “I respect the others guitar playing but the other guy is a prick” Mustaine is trying to make nice with those whom he has feuded with. The guys from slayer are definitely one of those he could berry the hatchet with. It would be a cool show. Lets just check slayer.net. Slayer ends their run on the Rockstar Energy Mayhem Fest 8/15. MMMM


METALLICA

For all intensive purposes I believe the feud between Metallica and Megadeth is over. Dave has a new “Lets be friends attitude”. Metallica on their end has but the past behind them and offered for Dave to come to the Hall Of Fame induction ceremonies. I think they want to move forward and not look at the past. 9/14 is when the Metallica goes for the second US Leg of the Death Magnetic Tour

Megadeth.com states that Megadeth will be off the road by the end of June. The new Megadeth album will come out right around the time Metallica is starting the new leg. All signs are pointing to a Metallica and Megadeth tour.


Let that sink in

METALLICA AND MEGADETH TOGETHER.


Metallica hasn’t announced supporting acts yet for the tour. It will hit Van Andel 11/9. It isn’t out of the realm of possibilities that this could be happening. I think in Dave Mustaines mind he is making a jump to reach out to old friends that he couldn’t do in Cleveland. But all of this isn’t official. Nothing has been said from the camp of Metallica. We can all hope


I leave you with this other thought


The other rumor going around is that Metallica wont be touring with Megadeth, but with the returning ALICE IN CHAINS.

Either way I am glade I already have my ticket to this show. Its going to be historic.

2009 WWE Supplemental Draft

2009 WWE Supplemental Draft

I don’t expect too much to happen here. There might be a pick that
would benefit in the long run like last years picks of Finlay and
Mark Henry to ECW & Kofi Kingston to Raw. To be perfectly honest some
of these picks might not seem smart or note worthy until much later
on. I am gonna comment as the picks are announced and then do some
wrap ups

#1 - Mr. Kennedy Drafted to Raw
And raw gets more Mid Carders. This might seem mote because Kennedy
him self has said that his shoulder injury might be too much for him
to continue. Time will tell if this is good or bad.

#2 - Shad Gaspard Drafted to Smackdown
So Cryme Thyme is going to smackdown. That or JTG is going to be fired again.


#3 - Alicia Fox Drafted to Smackdown
I guess they are shacking things up for the Divas division on
smackdown. All these women are the same to me


#4 - Primo Colon - Drafted to Raw
Well there goes my thought that they might actually be making Cryme
Thyme into a Tag Title contender. Fink is going nuts because the new
Unified Tag Champs are separated. He isn’t as cynical as me.


#5 - Mike Knox - Drafted to Smackdown
Wait didn’t Kane already have this spot? So I guess this means we are
going to be “treated” to Knox vs Kane and Knox vs Khali and Knox vs
Undertaker. Shoot me now


#6 - Ezekiel Jackson - Drafted to ECW
Well it looks like they want to try THE Brian Kendricks main servant
by him self. I see no problem with that. This is what I believe ECW
is for. A testing ground.


#7 - Nikki Bella - Drafted to Raw
Are they splitting up the twins? Is she going to make an impact on RAW
when she gets there? DO I REALLY CARE?


#8 - Candice Michelle - Drafted to Smackdown
I guess they are serious about pumping up the competition for Melina.
Good choice unless she injured her self again.


#9 - Zach Ryder - Drafted to ECW
Lets take a tag team that tried to be the Worlds Greatest Tag team and
failed. MISERABLY. I hope they are breaking up Ryder and Hawkins and
are at lest keeping Hawkins on smackdown


#10 - Chavo Guerrero - Drafted to Raw
If you didn’t see this coming a mile away you don’t watch wrestling
enough. Once Vikki Guerrero moved to raw this was an after thought. WHO
WOULD PUSH HER WHEEL CHAIR IF CHAVO WASN’T THERE.


#11 - Ricky Ortiz - Drafted to Smackdown
Ok sure. New talent to smackdowns mid to lower card


#12 - Layla - Drafted to Smackdown
So I guess they want to see if she can wrestle. All I can remember
her doing is walking Regal down so this is good.


#13 - Hornswoggle - Drafted to Raw
So is Finlay going to raw? If not is Horny getting fired?


#14 - DH Smith - Drafted to ECW
Ok so DH Smith can show what he can do and this time next year will be
upped to the big brands. Davey Boy's boy should do well on smackdown


#15 - John Morrison - Drafted to Smackdown
I call it right here an IC Title rain before summer slam. MARK MY
WORDS. This is good for a guy who was toe to toe in the talent
department with CM Punk two years ago.


#16 - Carlito - Drafted to Raw
So the new tag champs are on raw. I see them loosing to Legacy before
summerslam. Hell even June.


#17 - Natalya - Drafted to ECW
OK now I am mad. Natalya would benefit from the exposure and the
better talent in the woman’s division on Smackdown. Now she is in a
place where SHE WON’T WRESTLE. THAT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE.


#18 - Festus - Drafted to Raw
But what about Jessie? Meh I say MEH. Fetus will get crushed under
the weight of the Raw Roster.

#19 - JTG - Drafted to Smackdown
Thus Cryme Thyme reunites. That was a scary hour. I think this team
has the talent but management isn’t high on them for some reason. That
will continue and frustrate me.


#20 - Dolph Ziggler - Drafted to Smackdown
Fine he goes to a Mid card that is ripe of new talent. I don’t think
this is a bad or good think. All I feel is apathy.


#21 - THE Brian Kendrick - Drafted to Raw
THE Brian Kendrick could find him self in a place to shine or sink to
the bottom. I think he is talented enough to keep a float in the mid
card. Given the right situation maybe higher.


#22 - Charlie Haas - Drafted to Smackdown
I am going against the cool kids and saying “bring back the serious
Haas”. They probably wont but look at the bright side THE WORLDS
GREATEST TAG TEAM IS BACK ON THE SAME BRAND. They will screw this up.


#23 - Hurricane Helms - Drafted to ECW
WOW and some ones career might of just changed. Helms is a guy who
could make a run for the ECW title. If they push him to it. Also he
could have some great matches against Christian along the way. This
is good.


#24 - Brie Bella - Drafted to Raw
The twins are back together . . . yay. I just had a bad thought,
perhaps they are going to create a Divas Tag Titles. That makes me
said.


Thoughts
WHY WAS HORNSWOGGLE DRAFTED TO RAW!!! IT MAKES NO SENSE! Most brands
got a swap in the mid card that cant really be measured right now. In
the past some people have been fired before they premier on their new
brand. So who knows.


Draft Pick of the Draft TIE John Morrison to Smackdown & Hurricane Helms to ECW

I couldn’t decide so I picked both of them. I CAN DO WHAT I WANT. Both have to potential to be in their perspective brands main title hunts. I see both of these draft picks as a shot in the arm that both guys need. They should see this as the opportunity to show management they can be at the top of the card. It also might be there last change.

OVERALL
This draft while not as ground breaking as last years in terms of moves gives tons of guys a new chance to show what they can do. Raw is stacked to the teeth and obviously the only show Vince wants to succeed. Smackdown like always will have to put on great wrestling matches to show it’s a brand worth taking seriously. Pretty much normal stuff for this brand extension. I take away optimism from this brand extension that it wont screw any one over in the long run. Well every one except Hornswaggle.

Thus ends the 2009 WWE Draft. I hope every one had fun. Or at lest opened a six pack.

2009 WWE Draft

I am back with a run down of the 2009 WWE Draft. I dont quite expect the shocking stuff from last year. If you remember last year saw Raw mainstays Jim Ross and HHH drafted to smackdown. They did this to try to make Smackdown seem bigger and for anticipation of the switch to My Network TV. Well that didnt work very well. I fully expect HHH to be drafted to Raw and Smackdown to be gutted again.

I am not gonna run down the show. They had matches to see which brand would get a “random” draft pick. I also expected to be introduced to a new GM for smackdown but that didnt happen. No Theodore Long either. MMMMM The show was set up like it should. The main story line was advanced through its own match (HHH Batista and Shane vs Rhodes and Teddy JR) I liked how they set us up to believe that Raw as gutting Smackdown at first and then Smackdown started rolling.

Here are the results

RAW Picked Up

MVP (US Champion) From Smackdown

Big Show From Smackdown

Matt Hardy From Smackdown

HHH (WWE Champion) From Smackdown

The Miz From ECW

Maryse (Divas Champion) From Smackdown

Smackdown Picked Up

Melina (Womans Champion) From Raw

CM Punk From Raw

Kane From Raw

Chris Jericho From Raw

Rey Misterio (IC Champ) From Raw

ECW Picked Up

Vladimir Kozlov From Smacdown

Overall Thoughts

Well Raw got everybody. I dont for a second buy this to be an even draft. I figured after a while that Cena would go to smackdown but he didnt. Now Smackdown is left with out a world champ (All but telegraphs the end to the Last Man Standing match at backlash). I did like how they swapped the mid card titles. I didnt see it coming and dont mind the swap.

Raw Thoughts

HHH was an after thought. Matt Hardy and MVP went from a brand where they had maybe four guys ahead of them to more like six or seven. Two things might happen. 1. Matt gets a heel Jeff Push from one of the main guys giving him the rub or 2. Get lost in the mid card shuffle. I hope they keep the focus of the the US title on the mid carders (Kofi, MVP, Santino, Regal) instead of having the main eventers with nothing to do go for it. I AM LOOKING AT YOU BIG SHOW. While this could be a good thing to let these two talented guys go with the big boys only time will tell if this is good. Big Show is being booked a lot better then he has in years so I dont think he will get lost in the shuffle but some ones got to take kanes spot. The Miz will get lost in the shuffle. Most people believe the star was John Morrison on that team and now they have broken up. I am saying it now, I feel he will be released in a year. Maryse was drafted to Raw because they wanted to Melina to go to Smackdown. If she fails there are plenty of talent on Raw to pick up the slack but I have never really seen her wrestle.

Smackdown Thoughts

For some reason WWE thinks there is a huge Hispanic following for smackdown. I dont know why but I could believe in it. Since Rey Misterio went to Raw that audience has dwindled. So naturally they were gonna put Rey Rey back to Smackdown. Melina also has some of this drawing power so go to Smackdown. For Melina she went from being one of the three top stars in the womens division on Raw to being the top star on Smackdown. So I dont really mind that move. Rey is one of those guys that it doesnt matter where he goes his fans will follow. This need also meant the mid card title needs to be swapped. Lets go to other three. Kane is one of those guys who can go any where. He probably will not be pushed higher then he is. I see one more feud with taker before the end of takers career. For Jericho this move is good. He goes from a roster filled with talent to a roster where the only two guys in his league are Edge and Undertaker. He will be a big main player in Smackdown. The other person whos career was helped from this draft was CM Punk. He was squished under the talent of the Raw roster. There isnt a top face on the Smackdown roster so he can fight with Jeff Hardy for that spot. CM Punk is also another way for Smackdown to get a world title.

ECW Thoughts

Man I thought ECW would get raped in this draft. They would take away the title contenders and leave them with nothing. Instead they gave ECW another heel in Koslov. I am begining to feel that management is tailoring ECW around one CHRISTIAN. I see the title chase to end at Summerslam and Christian having to go through Koslov. Its sink or swim time. Either this will show Koslov as a competent wrestler or some one who needs to be fired.

Overall

You would think Raw got all the goods in this but I think not. Smackdown has the right talent in its roster to make Jeff Hardy and CM Punk into superstars that next year will have to move to raw. Chris Jericho is in a spot where he could continue to be a title threat no matter who has the belt. I am foaming at the mouth for Edge vs Chris Jericho. This could also be good for Kane if they want it to be. Same goes for Rey Misterio. Vince has given the ball to these Smackdown stars for them to prove that they are true main event players.

Draft Pick Of The Night CM Punk To Smackdown

The WWE will have you believe that HHH is the huge draft pick. Perhaps even Jericho. I believe this is the defining moment in CM Punks Career. He has to show management that you can put the brand on your shoulders. This is what will catapult Punk into the stratosphere. I am also foaming at the mouth for a CM Punk vs Jeff Hardy spot fest.

I will be back tomorrow with the compulsory draft on WWE.com. That usually just moves lower carders and will probably give Raw a couple of more jobbers. I also think this is were ECW will be shook up.

25 Anniversery Of Wrestlemania

25th anniversary of Wrestlemania recap and thoughts

So its Wrestlemania 25. On paper it looks pretty good except for the legends match and the diva battle royal. I still think its very stupid to have kid rock play during the card. My feelings are re enforced by the fact that the tag team unification bought became a dark match. That would have been better then watching kid rock. The colons won. We wont be able to watch that match until the DVD. AND IT WAS A TAG TEAM TITLE UNIFICATION MATCH. I remember when tag title matches meant something. Lets get to the show because its Wrestlemania. It will be cool. Before the show I think the match of the night will be Undertaker vs Shawn Michaels.

Live from Huston

Howard Finkle announces that one of the pussycat dolls is singing America the beautiful. Keen

We are welcomed by JR, The King, and Michael Cole. Well that is better then using multiple announcing teams. If you are wondering Tazz’s contract ran up on March 31st. He didn’t renew it. He did offer to work Mania but the WWE turned it down. This is probably the best idea ever. JR is good with color as I assume Cole will be handling play by play. But who will be the new Smackdown Color man?

Money in the Bank Ladder Match: CM Punk vs. Kane vs. Mark Henry vs. MVP vs. Shelton Benjamin vs Kofi Kingston vs. Christian vs Finaly

Wait what? I hate that this is the opening. Should have been the tag title match but what ev. Trying to tell you what is happening would be ridiculous. Mark Henry and Kane clear the ring, climb the ladder and then every one pushes them off. At one point my boy Shelton climbs the top and does like a half swanton off the top. More fighting including more spots with hornswaggles step ladder. My favorite spot of the match sees Kingston climb a ladder that Mark Henry is holding reaching the case. Henry pulls the ladder, catches Kofi, and delivers the worlds strongest slam on the ladder. Lastly Shelton kicks more ass by power bombing MVP on to Mark Henry Tony Atlas and others. The finally sees Kane climbing the ladder but meeting CM Punk at the top. A couple of kicks later we have a winner

WINNER BY RETRIEVAL CM PUNK ***1/2

Thoughts
It was a train wreck and it was amazing. Shelton Benjamin always kills him self in these things and Kofi Kingston did what I thought he would do. Jump all over the place and get killed. Mark Henry actually didn’t suck and they used his power move set well. But there is a lack of story and they just threw spots together. But they were fun spots.


Kid rock now is up playing Bawiddabaw, some song I don’t recognize, All Summer Long, and So Hott. YAWN. The divas are robed of individual entrances, which sucks for the divas whom came back including Sunny.

25-Diva "Miss WrestleMania" Battle Royal: Known Participants - Melina, Maryse, Mickie James, Gail Kim, Michelle McCool, Nikki Bella, Brie Bella, Alicia Fox, Kelly Kelly, Maria, Eve Torres, Katie Lea Burchill, Beth Phoenix, Layla El, Rosa Mendes, Candice Michelle, Natalya Neidhart, Jillian Hall, Tiffany, Sunny, Torrie Wilson, Molly Holly, Victoria and Jackie Gayda-Haas

Man some of these girls deserve better then this. Santino is in drag. This only gets worse from here. Only high light is Gail Kim trying a hurricanrana on Jillian but screws up and Eliminates herself too. In the end Santino throws Beth Pheniox and Melina over the top and wins.

WINNER SANTINO DUD

Err I mean Santina Santinos twin sister. A crowning happens after. All the beer in the world wont erase the thought of Santina gyrating. HORRIBLE BEYOND BELIEF.

Thoughts
God that was worse then I could have ever thought of. It was a comedy match they dragged Molly Holly, Victoria, Sunny and others in to. I am glade that Trish Stratus, Lita, and Wendy Richter stayed far far away from this. It would have degraded the match even further.


Just when things couldn’t get any worst

Chris Jericho vs. Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka, Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat and Rowdy Roddy Piper (w/Ric Flair)

Mickey Rourke is ringside with FRANK SHAMROCK. From the on set Steamboat looks like he actually belongs here. While Piper and Snuka might be good on the mic this match belongs to Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat. Piper tries a drop kick that is lower then I drop kick I would throw. I am kidding about that. Snuka taps to the walls and Piper is eliminated by Shinning Wizard. Steamboat whips out VINTAGE Arm drags chops and the such. They all look like they did in the eighties. Then Ricky “the dragon” Steamboat , Who turned 56 at the end of February, went to the top rope. He hit crossbodies all over the place including one to the out side. He looked amazing and Jericho was matching him move for move. But we all know whats going to happen. Jericho hits the codebreaker and that’s the end

WINNER CHRIS JERICHO

With a match like that you better believe there is shenanigans. Flair enters the ring gets in Jerichos face and ends up eating a codebreaker. Jericho is on the mic and calling out Mickey Rourke. Remember that Rourke is a former pro boxer. The dance around and and some punches send Jericho running for high ground. THEN FRANK SHAMROCK SNAPS AND BELLY TO BELLY. No that didn’t really happen but that would have been cool. Rourke posses with flair.

I will give that *** all for ricky steamboat

Thoughts: I wish this was just Steamboat vs Jericho. I thought at some point the hall of fame class might do a run in or at lest Austin but no. This ends the Legends story line and Steamboat made the match fun enough to pass.

Matt Hardy Vs Jeff Hardy Extreme Rules

Video package starts off and for the first time in like ten years Matt Hardy is wearing tights. WHAT A EVIL MAN. This match is Extreme rules and basically that’s all they did. And some very innovative stuff including a chair shot during a whisper in the wind, Matt in a table sandwich which then gets a huge splash by jeff. The ending involve ladders and the leap frog leg drop from Jeff. He misses. Matt hits a twist of fate with a chair and that’s all she wrote

WINNER MATT HARDY ***

Thoughts. That was expected. I think if they are gonna continue this feud an extreme rules match might not have been the best idea for the first match. Matt picked up the win so I don’t think this is done. I gave them a three for effort but I am probably the only one. It didn’t even compare to the MITB match that started off the show


IC Title Match: JBL © vs. Rey Mysterio

JBL makes his way sans a limo and runs down the crowd. He wants to make Wrestlemania history. Meh wont happen. Mysterio comes out dressed like the joker. I don’t know if that’s cool or sad. JBL Beats down Mysterio. Bell rings. This is the match Enziguir, 619, splash. End Match

WINNER AND NEW IC CHAMP REY MYSTERIO

JBL stands for a long time looking shocked and the quits.

Rating *

Thoughts: Man that was stupid. Lets burn the IC Strap more shall we. The best thing out of this is the fact that JBL needs a job. Tazz left Smackdown. MMMM I Smell opening.

The Undertaker Vs Shawn Michaels

Awesome Video Package opens. HBK clad in white comes down from above. Taker in black comes from below. His entrance is under five minutes which is a wrestlemania record. This is a back and forth match. Michaels hits some offence and then taker starts. At one point HBK is out side the ring taker looks to do a suicide dive. Shawn the pulls the camera man in to harms way and taker almost gets counted out. The last half is pure magic and taker kicks out of multiple Sweet Chin Music. HBK kicks out of Hells gate, Chokeslam, Last ride AND THE FUCKING TOMBSTONE. By my and my bros memory the only other man to do that was Kane. They just keep on going back and forth. The end sees Michaels try a moonsault taker catches him and tombstone again for the win

WINNER THE UNDERTAKER ****3/4

Thoughts. Perfect match by two wrestlemania legends. They both brought their A Games and created something memorable. The story as “what in the world will stop HBK”. This is undertakers first win over him EVER. The streak continues and I wish Shawn the best on vacation. PLEASE COME BACK SOON.

Nothing is gonna top that so lets go with the one of the two main events that might

World Title Match: Edge © vs. The Big Show vs. John Cena

Ok everybody hates Cena. I haven’t grown bored with him yet. He is the best in triple threat environments. Throw in Edge who is just awesome. And the Big Show who can bring the goods when its all not on his shoulders and I think this match will surprise some people. Big Show and Edge have normal entrance. Cena brings out 10,000 maniacs err Cenas to help him in the ring. This match was fast and furious. Lots happening. The story of the match was trying to get rid of the big show. When the big man is booked properly nothing can stop him. Not even getting speared through the guard railing. Cena and Edge make a great paring. Vickie ends up at ringside and gets speared for her trouble TWSS. All wrestlers are knocked out at various parts but the best was when the big show got caught in the ropes. FOR A GOOD 3 MINUTES. Him screaming at the ref to get him out of there was gold. The end saw Cena put both Show and Edge in position for an FU. Edge squirms off and big show goes for the rid. Then another FU for Edge and that’s all

WINNER AND NEW WORLD HEAVY WEIGHT CHAMPION JOHN CENA. ***3/4

Thoughts. Good triple threat but not great. I think my love for Edge and The Big Show cloud my ratings. This looked a lot better then most of the card. Cena has a belt and I don’t think he is done with edge.

Hall of Famers are introduced including Austin in a suit. After they are introduced as the Hall of Fame class Stone Cold books it out of there. That’s surprising. THEN THE GLASS BREAKS. Austin is out on an ATV goes to the ring and starts drinking some beer. He toasts JR and more drinking.

HHH is walking down the hall bumps into vince and shane and nods. I smell run in


WWE Title Match: HHH © vs. Randy Orton


Video package starts. Orton comes down. HHH enters with a sledgehammer. Wait he is standing infront of a mirror. HE THROWS THE HAMMER THROUGH IT. SWEET. Lets all remember that if HHH is DQd or Counted Out he looses the title. I smell shenanigans. They trade finishers at the beginning. Weird. The rest of the match sees Orton trying to get HHH counted out. Which makes sense because Orton has the advantage with the new rules. At the end HHH gets thrown into the ref. A Punt to the Head, Sledgehammer shot, and a Pedigree later HHH retains.

WINNER HHH ***

Thoughts. I was thinking that this is gonna be an over booked mess with run ins from every body and some mcmahon costing HHH the title by mistake. None of that happened. It wasn’t necessarily boring or anything but when put up against the good matches tonight it couldn’t stand tall. With how short this match was I feel this isn’t over. For a huge build up I would of expected more suspense.


OVERALL ***

Thoughts: The only match that really stood out was HBK vs Taker. MITB and the triple threat come second and third. But for a good card more of the underarm needed to be good and it wasn’t. The main event wasn’t great. And a mediocre match sandwiched between two dud matches didn’t help the crowd either. I don’t think a re ordering of the matches would have helped. Like last year wrestle mania had one or two good matches and the rest are blah. It could have been worse.